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Fighting the Mirror...

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Hi. I'm Laura. I'm eighteen and live in Paris. My biggest passion is music, especially cello and singing. I also really like to write and draw in my spare time. On a more serious note, I was bulimic, now AN-binge purge subtype, and suffer from PTSD...but I'm doing my best to turn that chapter in my life :), and this blog is here to tell that story. This blog is not intended to be triggering, I apologise if you find it so.If you believe that you or someone you know may be suffering from an eating disorder, please check out these sites: NEDA (USA): http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-support; b-eat (UK): http://www.b-eat.co.uk/get-help/about-eating-disorders/ Something Fishy: http://www.something-fishy.orgAlternatively, if you just want to talk, my Ask box is open... I am here for every single one of you. Xo

IG : journey2recovered


dreaming-of-the-world asked: Hi Laura! Sending you so much love and luck for today and the start of the rest of your life! Woo it's going to be an amazing experience for you! I can't wait to hear all about it! I'm always just a message away if you want to talk or anything at all! I love you and I'm so proud of you girl xxx


Answer:

Thank you so much lovely !!! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’• xx L

— 1 hour ago
This is what was written on the napkins served with the train sandwiches sold on Eurostar, and I got say it’s pretty perfect ๐Ÿ™Š also, I had a tuna & cucumber sandwich on the train - a choice I I hadn’t premeditated at all - and I even had 1/2 of the egg&cress bit of my mums sandwich trio as she hates eggs and I love’em ๐Ÿ˜#edrecovery #positivity #caloriecouting #dieting #funny #travel #recoverforuni #lunch #eatingdisorder #noquasiforme #relinquishcontrol #ed #realrecovery

This is what was written on the napkins served with the train sandwiches sold on Eurostar, and I got say it’s pretty perfect ๐Ÿ™Š also, I had a tuna & cucumber sandwich on the train - a choice I I hadn’t premeditated at all - and I even had 1/2 of the egg&cress bit of my mums sandwich trio as she hates eggs and I love’em ๐Ÿ˜#edrecovery #positivity #caloriecouting #dieting #funny #travel #recoverforuni #lunch #eatingdisorder #noquasiforme #relinquishcontrol #ed #realrecovery

— 2 hours ago with 7 notes
#dieting  #caloriecouting  #funny  #ed  #positivity  #noquasiforme  #realrecovery  #eatingdisorder  #relinquishcontrol  #lunch  #recoverforuni  #edrecovery  #travel 
Last #10belles in seven months!!! Cappuccino and Lemon & Fig muffin ๐Ÿ˜ now off to the train station ๐Ÿ˜„ #edrecovery #coffeshop #university #leavingthenest #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #bulimia #paris #finalcoffee

Last #10belles in seven months!!! Cappuccino and Lemon & Fig muffin ๐Ÿ˜ now off to the train station ๐Ÿ˜„ #edrecovery #coffeshop #university #leavingthenest #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #bulimia #paris #finalcoffee

— 4 hours ago with 2 notes
#anarecovery  #leavingthenest  #coffeshop  #finalcoffee  #paris  #university  #anorexiarecovery  #10belles  #edrecovery  #bulimia 

Got hungry again after all that late night food (whaaaaat?) and wanted something else… So I grabbed some M&S breakfast biscuits and another cuppa.

Pro tip: lemon, ginger & ginseng tea is the best thing ever to relax in the evenings ๐Ÿต ๐Ÿ˜ด

The ED voice is telling me that I’m bingeing and getting greedy but even I know that two biscuits is not a binge so shhhhhhh. I do not need to feel guilt for eating when I’m hungry!! Grr.

— 16 hours ago with 3 notes
#ed recovery  #snack  #grazing  #bingeing?  #nah  #anxiety  #food  #recovery  #edrecovery  #anorexia recovery 
Dessert & random snacking on my last night at home ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท taking advantage of the Ben&Jerry’s and delicious fruit wilts I can ๐Ÿ˜‹… Also… NUTS!!! Massive fear food… I never eat whole nuts and only recently started eating peanut butter again, so this is progress โ˜บ๏ธ #recover #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #snacking #dessert #icecream #fruit #walnuts #yummy #fearfood #recoverforuni #offtouni

Dessert & random snacking on my last night at home ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท taking advantage of the Ben&Jerry’s and delicious fruit wilts I can ๐Ÿ˜‹… Also… NUTS!!! Massive fear food… I never eat whole nuts and only recently started eating peanut butter again, so this is progress โ˜บ๏ธ #recover #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #snacking #dessert #icecream #fruit #walnuts #yummy #fearfood #recoverforuni #offtouni

— 16 hours ago with 5 notes
#yummy  #offtouni  #dessert  #snacking  #walnuts  #icecream  #anorexiarecovery  #fruit  #fearfood  #recoverforuni  #recover  #edrecovery 

Sometimes it scares me how a part of me genuinely wants to look unwell.

— 1 day ago with 39 notes
#ed recovery  #anorexia  #mental recovery  #mental illness  #anorexia nervosa  #binge purge  #an-bp  #bulimia  #eating disorder  #skinny  #sickly  #body image 
To the kind person informing me of my posts appearing in university accommodation tags:

Thank you so muchโ€ฆ I won’t respond to your ask so as to avoid the same thing happening againโ€ฆ I think it is gone this time.

Do you think you could check once more to see if you are still finding it, if you don’t mind?

Thank you so much

— 1 day ago
#eternal gratitude  #kind anons 
Breakfast on my penultimate day in Paris !! Featuring ‘le’ Parisian coffee mug ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜› Gonna be a busy busy day of packing/clearing/madly-buying-last-minute-items… Bring it on ! โ˜บ๏ธ #breakfast #movingon #leavinghome #university #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #finalcountdown #offtouni #recoverforuni #realrecovery #noquasiforme #paris #home #leavingthenest

Breakfast on my penultimate day in Paris !! Featuring ‘le’ Parisian coffee mug ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ˜› Gonna be a busy busy day of packing/clearing/madly-buying-last-minute-items… Bring it on ! โ˜บ๏ธ #breakfast #movingon #leavinghome #university #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #finalcountdown #offtouni #recoverforuni #realrecovery #noquasiforme #paris #home #leavingthenest

— 1 day ago with 3 notes
#realrecovery  #leavingthenest  #paris  #university  #bulimiarecovery  #noquasiforme  #movingon  #finalcountdown  #offtouni  #recoverforuni  #home  #breakfast  #edrecovery  #leavinghome 

kaitrokowski:

Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.

(via metamorphosisofmeg)

— 1 day ago with 33720 notes
#poetry  #endings  #eating disorder  #not beautiful  #recovery is not poetic 

missvoltairine:

do you ever just get a vibe that someone has a crush on you and then youโ€™re not sure if they actually do or if youโ€™re just really really self-absorbed

(via cats-tea-recovery)

— 2 days ago with 701168 notes
Breakfast is served! Mixing it up a bit and having a boiled egg ๐Ÿฃ with my muesli and lemon yogurt ๐Ÿ˜‹ 


Got a suuuper busy day today… Crossing Paris in order to place my early cote in the NZ elections, then off to have a farewell lunch with a friend and then I’ve got to start organizing my stuff for the move to uni๐Ÿ˜ฏ!! Finally, tonight I am babysitting from 18h-23h… Whew! 

 #edrecovery #anorexiabingepurge #anorexiarecovery #breakfast #eggs #yummay #

Breakfast is served! Mixing it up a bit and having a boiled egg ๐Ÿฃ with my muesli and lemon yogurt ๐Ÿ˜‹


Got a suuuper busy day today… Crossing Paris in order to place my early cote in the NZ elections, then off to have a farewell lunch with a friend and then I’ve got to start organizing my stuff for the move to uni๐Ÿ˜ฏ!! Finally, tonight I am babysitting from 18h-23h… Whew!

#edrecovery #anorexiabingepurge #anorexiarecovery #breakfast #eggs #yummay #

— 2 days ago with 3 notes
#eggs  #anorexiabingepurge  #anorexiarecovery  #yummay  #breakfast  #edrecovery 

thin-is-not-perfect:

After about twenty minutes of struggling, finally figured out how to edit the html of my blog in order to add a link to the archives page.

Clearly, I am a technological dinosaur in teenage terms.

Also, if you’re interested, it’s in the far left corner of the page. Mainly because I have no idea how to put it elsewhere.

— 2 days ago with 3 notes
#haha  #internet  #struggles  #technology  #coding  #html 

After about twenty minutes of struggling, finally figured out how to edit the html of my blog in order to add a link to the archives page.

Clearly, I am a technological dinosaur in teenage terms.

— 2 days ago with 3 notes
#html  #coding  #tumblr  #struggling  #old  #old fart 
Anonymous asked: You are pretty incredible, if you needed a reminder. I love you ♥


Answer:

Thank you so so muchโ€ฆ I donโ€™t feel very incredible, but Iโ€™m trying my hardest โค๏ธ you are too lovely ๐Ÿ˜˜ x Laura

— 2 days ago

junkoes:

i used to be a really smart kid who was โ€œgoing placesโ€ but now i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge

(via cats-tea-recovery)

— 2 days ago with 347854 notes